AES106 Love, Attention

“Don’t you think maybe they are the same thing, love, and attention?” 

This is one of the most beautifully written lines from the movie Lady Bird. The first time I saw the movie, I was left in tears. This movie was a big moment of realization for me. It made me question, what is love? How do you express love? Are love and attention the same thing? 

People express love in so many different ways, word, physical touch, and gift giving are a few things that are common forms of love expression. The point of doing those things is to send a message to a person or maybe even several people that we love them. 

I have always had a complex relationship with almost every single person in my life. I understand that humans are flawed, not a single soul is perfect. We screw up, we say the wrong things, we do the wrong thing, we take the wrong step. That is just the reality of living life as a human being, and I am completely okay with that concept of screwing up, as long as we put an effort to fix things, to make things right.

Just like everyone else, I also screw up. Something that I can assure you is that I always put my full effort to fix things that I screwed. I put attention and effort into fixing myself in hopes of getting attention in a form of appreciation from people around me. Most of the time, the times I needed attention the most, is the moment I don’t get it. It hurts when no one seems to look you in the eye when no one thinks your cool when they think the things you put your attention and effort into are useless.

Humans are imperfect, but we are capable of improving. Fixing things when we mess up. To me when a person in my life is constantly trying to improve themselves for the better, they love me. Because humans are connected in a network where we can affect one another, either negatively or positively. Building yourself for the better requires attention to yourself, your flaws, your strengths, and what to improve. 

When I look out for myself, I am looking out for others. When I look out for others, I am looking out for myself. 

Philosopher Simone Weil stated attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity. When you love someone you have to be fully present for them. Attention is one of the greatest gifts to offer, when we live in a world filled with media, so many things that we can put our attention to, but we choose to give our attention to a person that we love. 

I don’t think love is a feeling or a word, I think it's an action. It's about taking the time out of your life to pay attention to another person. When you pay attention to someone, you are telling them that they are worth your time. When you listen to someone talking about something they're passionate about that you personally don’t really like, that is love. When we are offering our undivided attention to someone, we are offering an act of love. 

picture: https://id.pinterest.com/pin/8444318039744476/