AES23 Alone.
I actually like being alone, it’s just so peaceful. When Im alone, I feel comfortable because I know no one is judging me. When im in a room with people I feel uncomfortable because im my head I think that someone in that room is judging me. I feel like as a child people around me would name small mistakes I make and use them against me, basically to manipulate me to feel guilty. That’s why I enjoy talking to myself because I know no one will use my words to manipulate me.
When you are alone, you are kinda forced to face whatever problems you have. Like for example, I have something in my head, an issue. I have an option to think about it and face it, or I can let’s say call my friend and talk about random things. Now I choose to just face my issues, even if it makes me anxious and like crazy. Even tho I know I cant finish the problem at that exact moment but at least I tried. It’s kinda a hit-or-miss thing like the option is I can finish this issue I have or I’ll just be anxious about it and I’ll have a mental breakdown. Or it could be a combination of both of that.
But whatever happens, burning that process Im alone and no one will judge me, be mad at me, it’s just me myself, and I. I think that’s really the point of being alone. I am allowed to use my time, as much as I need to. It’s a moment of me against me issue and Im just like “what can I do?” Being alone also helps me to reflect and it helps me to be present.
But I rarely get this alone time because well I hold responsibility in my household. Im the one that’s responsible for taking care of my brother. And my grandma is always asking me to do things. It doesn’t mean I don’t care or love them, it’s just I love me too. I feel like it is healthy for me to have some alone time. I don’t think taking care of myself and appreciating myself is something that bad. I think an alone trip somewhere for me would really help.
I feel like when Im alone, Im not lonely. I can be with a bunch of people and still be lonely. But I rarely feel lonely when Im alone. Isn’t that weird?
picture:https://id.pinterest.com/pin/805159239621489777/
Komentar (1)
No, it's not weird. Time is always precious, especially when you rarely have time to do things for yourself. Being alone can also be a form of self-love. Doing nothing, sitting alone, talking to yourself, journaling, pampering yourself. It will also recharge you. Make you love yourself more so you will be more comfortable with yourself anywhere you are. Grow your love girl!
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