AES24 pov: reading sad books is your coping mechanism

I love reading sad books, altho sometimes it kinda leaves a scar in my heart I love it. I feel like those books let me cry in a good way. Well, most of the time I can’t really find a safe place to cry. Because I just hate when Im crying and someone comes in and asked me what’s wrong like I don’t have the energy to explain what’s wrong with me. So with reading a sad book I can just tell them that my book is really sad. 

I also feel ashamed for crying, like I cry over the smallest things ever and I feel like that’s just how I work you know. Sometimes I feel exhausted by everything that’s going on in my life but I can’t get all of those emotions out. And reading sad books helps, I can just re-read a sad chapter and I will feel better. I don’t know exactly why but I feel less lonely. Because I kinda relate to the character in the book and whatever traumatic event they’re going through. 

I feel like I can’t really relate to my friends in real life, because well my life is kinda different. And when im reading im just like “bro I felt like that too! Im not alone”. It gives me this crazy amount of validation. Sometimes I also like to imagine that im talking to one of the characters, and I can just imagine what advice they would give me.

 When Im reading, when I find the sad part I will like to talk to the character and I would think about what could I do to make this character feel better. That actually really helps me. I feel like fictional characters give me so much comfort, altho they don’t exist. But the idea of them lives in my head, they make me feel less lonely. They are like little friends I always have living in my head. It’s kinda funny, to be honest, I even seem like Im kinda crazy but yeah. That’s one of my ways to cope, and it actually works isn’t that the point after all?   

picture: https://id.pinterest.com/pin/504543964491175318/