AES59 This is me trying

This is me trying is one of my favorite songs from Taylor Swift’s album folklore. This song is so meaningful and just so amazing, I felt understood when I first heard this song. I almost always cry when I hear this song because it is really emotional, almost every single lyric in this song hits just the right place in my heart. I wanted to explain some of the lyrics and just tell you how I relate to them. 

“I've been having a hard time adjusting

I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting” 

This is the start of the song and it really hits you right away. It explains how we are struggling that we are having a really hard time. “I had the shiniest wheels, now they’re rusting” is kinda like I had a potential that was shiny and wonderful but then due to the things that I’ve been through (for me it’s mental health issues and trauma) those potentials are rusting. What’s interesting is that Taylor used the word rusting, because the process of something that is shiny turning into something that’s rusting takes time. Slowly but surely if you don’t take care of it it’s gonna start rusting, the same thing with most mental health issues. 

“Pulled the car off the road to the lookout

Could've followed my fears all the way down

And maybe I don't quite know what to say

But I'm here in your doorway” 

When you are struggling with something, you will always get to a point where you feel like you just want to end this. This part of the song kinda explains how the person that’s in the car could’ve like jumped off a cliff or something. They could’ve followed their fear all the way down, meaning that if they died all of their fear and struggles will end. But they didn’t follow those feelings, and they came up to someone’s doorway instead of choosing death. 

“Fell behind on my classmates, and I ended up here” 

This is probably one of the most relatable lines. As someone that used to struggle to keep up with my classmates in the academic setting, it hurts. Like I was already struggling with my mental health and I pushed myself so hard to keep up with the others to the point that it hurt me worse. And I ended up here in this condition of mental health because I fell behind my classmates. 

 “I just wanted you to know

That this is me trying

I just wanted you to know

That this is me trying

At least I'm trying”

Now, this is the best part. “I just wanted you to know, that this is me trying. At least I’m trying” When someone’s struggling and they’re trying so hard but no one has any idea how hard they’re trying. People have to wake up every day and fight their thoughts, their anxiety, and that is so exhausting but people have no idea that we are trying, so hard. And at least I’m trying because some people don’t even have the energy to try. 

“And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound

It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you”

A party in this context I think is about being in a social setting. When you’re surrounded by people but you feel like an open wound it hurts. An open wound is very sensitive even it kinda hurts when there’s just wind passing by. So it shows how this person is very sensitive and their not healed, but they need to be in a social setting and smile through the pain.

So yeah, that basically, my thoughts on this is me trying by Taylor Swift, I recommend you to watch this video on Taylor’s explanation about this song. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yL_bdb3PtaM) 

picture:https://id.pinterest.com/pin/4714774599399640/