AES80 “you’re mature for your age”
People, especially the adults that I meet they always that they think Im mature for my age. I personally take it as a compliment, but sometimes people don’t realize how being mature at a young age can be a nightmare sometimes. As much as I am grateful for my life and my state of mind, I have to admit that being the mature one really damaged me.
Growing up, even in school I always felt like I was the black sheep between my friends. Especially I would say I have such a different life story compared to my friends, and my situation has pushed me to mature. So I feel like I couldn’t really connect with people my age because I was in a different state of mind than them. I always felt like I didn’t belong along with my friends, that there was something wrong with me or that I needed to change something in myself to fit in.
I tried to put on a mask when I was around my friends, I tried to be like them. Altho deep inside it was killing me. I had a hard time making jokes when I was a little girl because I knew that their jokes weren’t even funny. I personally don’t find bullying someone, making fun of someone’s mental health condition as something that’s funny or entertaining. I tried to fake a laugh when people made jokes about how emotional I was, or how I am bad at math. Believed me I always tried to fit in, but once a black sheep will always be the black sheep.
I did that until eventually, I got tired of faking things. I came to the realization that I couldn’t hide my beliefs just to fit in. Even when I did, my friends still saw me as Saski the person that cries about everything, how hard I try that will always be how they define me. So I had a hard process of trying to find that old spirit of mine back, and I succeed. I found her and until this day and until my time comes I refuse to let that spirit go.
I was always so mad at my friends for making me feel like the black sheep. But now Im not bad at them, I just realize that at the time they weren’t in the same level of mind as I am, they didn’t experience what I experienced. Therefore I understood that no one did anything wrong, it was just the situation. And that I should have more faith in myself.
picture:https://id.pinterest.com/pin/1055599902376001/
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