AES81 eldest daughter

The oldest daughter’s experience is something that I personally think is very heavy. I mean most of the time the pressure that is given to eldest daughters is just crazy, especially in an Asian household. This has something to do with the patriarchy and sexism because women are seen as caregivers and the ones that are always expected to do housework. When you’re the eldest daughter those things are really pressured on you. 

I personally have no issues with doing housework, I actually find it very enjoyable and therapeutic but the stigma between women and housework is just so bad. I often hear my family say something like “you need to do housework, or not no men will have interest in marrying you”. In that one sentence, it contains so many things that are so wrong. First of all, it’s making it seem that the only reason that women would do housework is to attract men and to please men.

 Also with people saying these things to me makes me feel sick of doing housework, like why can’t they give me another reason to do it. They could say things like “You need to do housework so you can be independent and you can keep your environment healthy” now that’s more like it. 

Something that I see so often in eldest daughters is that they are pushed to take care of their younger siblings. Almost every older sibling is pushed to take care of their younger sibling, but I feel like there’s more pressure when you’re a woman. So they kinda form as a second mother. 

I just wished that parents would learn how to treat and appreciate the things that eldest daughters do. Especially when their teenagers, have to deal with their crazy hormones, their periods, they have to keep up with school, but at the same time, they can do housework and help to take care of their younger siblings. They need appreciation because the things they do on a daily basis feel like an 8/5 job. 

It’s really sad sometimes that some eldest daughters have to go through. In my case, because my parents are divorced and I live with my mom, Im the one that has to take a good amount of responsibility for my brother. Because my mom would be working all the time. And I have this emotional trauma surrounding this topic. You know when babies turn into toddlers they need to learn how to crawl right, it helps with their brain function. My brother didn’t crawl, he was always in the car because my mom needed to take me to school and then pick me up again. 

So he could just walk without crawling, and people in my house were like talking about that. But they were kinda throwing shade at me and blaming me in a way. Because my brother was struggling to learn how to speak. So I felt like they were blaming me, because if my mom didn’t take me to school maybe my brother could crawl. And I was so confused because I was just going to school, I felt guilty over that until this day. Altho I know it wasn’t my fault but the feeling doesn’t really go away. 

In conclusion, I think eldest daughters and so strong and amazing, and they deserve love and appreciation for the things they do. 

picture: https://id.pinterest.com/pin/596797388112043900/