AES92 Paths

Choices are all around us. The most important one of all is what we choose to do with our lives. When we’re young the whole world is open to us, we can do anything, go anywhere, be anyone. But sometimes the sheer amount of options we can take is paralyzing. There seems to be so many things to do that we don’t even know where to start. We feel as if one wrong choice will haunt us for the rest of our lives. For me, there’s so many things I’d like to do, but it’s impossible to do all of them, so instead I just do… nothing? This dilemma is not uncommon with people my age, just starting to make our way in the world. Back then it was simple, the positive side of far less options means that the choices made are easier and more solid. But the world has changed, and I am grateful for it. With it we are granted the freedom to choose who we want to be. We just need to find the courage to step out into the world and discover the endless wonders just waiting to be discovered.

I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story

From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked.

One fig was a husband and a happy home and children

And another fig was a poet, a brilliant professor, an amazing editor

Another fig was in Europe, and Africa and South America

And another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions

And another fig was Olympic Lady crew champion

And beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out

I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose.

I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest.

And as I sat there, unable to decide…

The figs began to wrinkle and go black, and one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.

-Silvya Plath, The Bell Jar-